THE MILLIGANISM

vent

2011-04-29T22:25:00.002+01:00

I have nothing of any interest to say, but I am using this blog to vent seeing as though no-one ever read this really and no-one will read it now. It's twenty five minutes past ten. The internet will keep me busy for the next few hours until I grow tired and eventually fall to sleep. I'll be woken up by my radio alarm, make myself some breakfast and get changed for work. It'll be the first time I've been back at work for a few weeks. I've had Easter off for various reasons although certain work colleagues will probably want to know why I've been allowed time off over 'one of the busiest periods of the year.'

It's now twenty seven minutes past ten. About an hour ago, I finished watching the 1999 cult film 'Fight Club.' I'm still unsure what to completely make of it, although it was good. It was good, not amazing like I have been told so many times in my life. I should be out of my house at the moment, sat with my friends in the pub, with some sort of alcoholic 'beverage' in my hand. Seeing some friends that I now probably won't see for the next few months.

I haven't felt like this for a while - a kind of despair and resentment towards myself spurred on by the Royal Wedding. Not that the Royal Family have anything to do with it. Not that I am a fanatic royalist and marked today in my diary to set up a street party. Not that I resented today because there was a tornado in Alabama but no-one seemed to noticed because two people got married, one of which who has entered a family 'anointed by God.' The joviality of the day seems to have caused some sort of negative feelings deep inside of me to rear their ugly heads and made me feel like I'm completely worthless.

It's now thirty one minutes past ten and I was going to watch 'Game of Thrones' today. It's a new HBO drama that seems to be set in medieval times with lots of swords and sex. It's meant to be quite good but I don't have the patience today to stream it online on my abysmal internet connection. Maybe in the next few days I'll sit down and give it a go but probably not. I should really watch more of those films my friend lent me. After all, there's about twenty of them and I feel rude in having them for so long and them just sitting on my shelf.

I was going to learn more songs on my guitar but I snapped one of the strings on it the other day. I need to buy some new ones but I'm not sure what I'm meant to be buying and haven't got round to finding out properly. I'm quite annoyed really, I love my guitar and I was just actually getting quite good (I probably wasn't but I felt like I was).

It's thirty five minutes past ten and I'm going to see if the internet has anything interesting to keep me occupied with.

the year, in a year (music)

2011-01-09T21:24:00.002Z

10. The Knife - Tomorrow in a Year

9. Foals - Total Life Forever

8. Hurts - Happiness

7. Joanna Newsom - Have One on Me

6. Kanye West - My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy

5. Gorillaz - Plastic Beach

4. Crystal Fighters - Star Of Love

3. Pendulum - Immersion

2. Flying Lotus - Cosmogramma

1. Janelle Monáe - The ArchAndroid

Unfortunately, Feed Me's Big Adventure isn't quite long enough to be considered an album, otherwise it probably would have been number one.

xmas and 2011

2010-12-27T12:23:00.003Z

So the big day has been and gone, but the festive season isn't over. There are still 10 days left of Christmas (you should all know the song) and the new year is approaching quickly. 2010 has been a great year for me - weird, strange, odd etc. but very very awesome.

As I grow older, the years seem to slip away from me faster and faster. I'm sure this is all just growing up, but it really doesn't seem like it was the start of 2010.

Just life, I guess.

2010, in a year.

2010-12-21T20:29:00.002Z

This year has been a fantastic year for media; video games, music albums, movies. In the next few posts, I'm going to try and pick out a few stand out titles from each of the aforementioned sections that I think deserve to be consider the best of the year. It's a hard thing to do, particularly as when describing music I find it impossible to articulate myself correctly - but I'll give it a go.

long overdue.

2010-12-20T16:46:00.002Z

The last time I posted, I said I would update this everyday or every other day; didn't quite go to plan.

Also, the last time I wrote I was very swollen and only just starting to recover. Now, I am fully recovered and it's weird to think back at how 'badly' I was and looked. Saying that, I recovered very quickly, so fast in fact that it was enough for hospital and surgeons to comment. I'm going to put this down to either being a secret member of the X-Men, being immortal or just drinking lots and lots of milk.

Since then, I've also been to Oxford University for their Christmas Ball, which was amazing. Oxford is a beautiful city, and reminds me a lot of York. The ball itself was fantastic, and wearing white tie was really awesome (braces, bow tie and waistcoat, oh yes).

My University application has been sent off and, if all else fails, I definitely have a place at the University of Westminster, which is pleasing. Seeing all my friends disappear off and have a wonderful time at their respective establishments was kind of depressing, but I've been invited just about everywhere all around the country, so they'll be lots of visits for some drunken nights out.

Working full time kinda sucks, but is cool at the same time. I barely have any time to myself and I'm always knackered after a long shift. However I'm raking in the money and will able to afford a lot of cool things next year.

As the year is closing up and it's almost Christmas, one of my resolutions will be to definitely keep this more up to date; I'll start this now. I'm also feeling a new header might be in need to freshen things up for 2011.

2010 has been a brilliant, if slightly weird and hard year, but it's been a million times better than 2009. I'm hoping for another cracking year next year and I'm hoping things will be even better; I've got tons to look forward to (video game releases, festivals and University) and my last ever bout of surgery EVER (which is kinda weird in itself).

To all those who read this blog, I thank you and will definitely be posting more in the coming months.

regenerated.

2010-10-06T22:07:00.003+01:00

So, the big op is finally over and done with. The last 18 years were building to this massive thing and no its over and done with. I'm getting through the worst of recovery, and now the rest of the year looks to be amazing. Various University visits, Oxford ball, Christmas... now this has been done and out the way I am happy once again. I will update this regularly (everyday/every other day) as I have some stories to telland some rants to rant. At present, I look like a character out of Bo Selecta - my face is incredibly swollen, but hopefully the swelling should start to go down as from tomorrow.

odds and ends and beginnnings.

2010-10-02T21:34:00.002+01:00

Now, I don't want this blog post to be all depressive and dramatic, but this will be the last time I blog as I am now. With this face (though you can't see my face), so it's kinda weird for me to think that the next time I access blogger, I will look different. With my op on Monday (called something like a bimaxilliary osteomy... or something) it feels like everything is drawing to a close and things are starting again. All my friends have now disappeared to university and I'm 'starting again' if you like. Well, I'll still be the same inside, but it's going to be very odd looking in the mirror and seeing a different person. Well, different to the person I have been seeing for the past eighteen years.

With that in mind, I am kinda looking forward to seeing what I will look like, however weird it will be.

Things I had to do today:

- Sort out my clothes for the next week, then realising that I didn't actually need that much
- Sort out electronics to take; iPhone and Nintendo DS are a must.
- Books that I need to take; Under the Dome by Stephen King and The Divide by Nicholas Evans
- Wallet needed, because I never go to London and not spend money.
- My glasses,I have a habit of forgetting these and I'm pretty much doomed if I leave tham at home. I won't be able to see a thing, but I'm not sure whether that's a good thing or not...

The most annoying thing about all this is waiting for it to happen. I wish it could just happen now and get it done and over with.

In other news, I spent far too much money on a coat, Oxford is drawing ever nearer and said coat will be worn there at some point. I need more money and I'm going to somehow going to scrounge from parents and I need a casual blazer!

philisophiclsaldmtgnyuhioe.

2010-09-26T18:05:00.001+01:00

If I become anymore philisophical about things I fear I may kill myself, just to test my own existence. I should really stop thinking for a second.

onwards and upwards.

2010-09-19T10:59:00.002+01:00

As things have started drawing to a close, I'm left here pretty much on my own. All my friends are gearing up and going off to university, and it's still kinda weird that we're all starting the next chapter in our lives. I still have a few friends around me which I am grateful for, but they'll be doing their own thing as well. I sometimes resent the fact that I'm having to go into hospital - I know it will be for the best, but it's taking a year out of my life that I could be using at uni.

I think we all quite nervous about it really. My friends that are going to uni don't really know how things will turn out, and all that seems to be on their mind is freshers week (which will be amazing, I'm sure).

The event that I am most looking forward to is the Merton Christmas Ball, at Oxford University. It's going to be seriously awesome and in a way I can't quite believe I'm actually going. It only happens once every three years, and I've been invited to go by one of my very good friends (told you I'd mention you Sam!).

I'm continously writing, now more than one set project, but I'm slightly concerned about university next year. I want to do creative writing, but I don't think I can go anywhere that I want to go.

I guess I'll just have to see what happens.

lights are shining on our faces.

2010-09-10T19:42:00.001+01:00

This is probably my favourite song at the moment. And this is definitely my favourite duo at the moment:

wind up birds.

2010-09-07T14:35:00.002+01:00

I'm not too sure why I haven't updated this for a while. Actually, I kind of lied, I do know why - I've been extremely busy. Last time I wrote, I'd just come back from Leeds Festival. That was nearly two weeks ago, and since then I've been doing all sorts; working, helping around the house - just generally being the good samaritan I am. I've started reading 'The Wind-up Bird Chronicle' by Haruki Murakami. Now, last time I was reading something completely different (One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest) and I haven't finished that yet, I just thought I'd delve one again into the wonderful mind of one of my favourite authors.

This period of my life is rather strange - my siblings are all returning to school, yet I'm not. I'm either at home, or working. The lack of routine of (i.e. getting up at seven, school from eight thirty until three fifteen, then home time) is rather weird. That's not to say I lounge around in bed until the mid-afternoon.

The other weird thing is that all my friends are disappearing off to university and I'm not. Granted that it's because I'm going into hospital, but it's still rather strange and we're all starting the next chapter in our lives.

The thought of having a new face is kind of bugging me as well. I'm both extremely nervous and excited. Excited that it will be really interesting to see what I look like, but nervous because this is how I've been for the past eighteen years.

However, to finish, I got invited to Oxford's Christmas Ball. Which will be amazing. I can't WAIT.

returned.

2010-08-31T13:20:00.002+01:00

I have returned from Leeds Festival and it's been the best weekend of this year. I saw loads of amazing bands, spent loads of quality time with some of my best friends and met some great new people. I didn't get many photos at all, but there are some good ones that my mates took so I may post some of them on here. I did snap a few interesting things that were written on the toilet walls, which sounds... pretty disgusting. But it was actually pretty cool.

So, I'm back now and I start my week of being a vegetarian. I've decided to do this as one of my best friends is an avid leaf eater (she's practically almost a vegan) and for ages has been saying I should be a vegetarian too. Now, I'm basically a carnivore and love my bacon butties and other such delicious meat foods, so I'm not sure how long I'm going to last.

Being back meant for the first time in six days, I could sleep on a bed, rather than the floor of a tent. This was probably the best feeling ever. I'm also continuing to read One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest, which is pretty good. It's bizarre, but I feel that's part of the point - the insanity in an asylum.

Kick-Ass comes out at the start of next week on Blu Ray and DVD; I've pre-ordered the steelbook combo pack thing, that has both versions of the film. That movie is probably my favourite of this year - ultraviolent, crass and inappropriate, it's fantastic and definitely recommended.

Now, time to try and find something for lunch...

feeds lest 2

2010-08-25T09:33:00.001+01:00

I think I’m just about there. I’ve got everything packed. Just need to find some thick socks because I packed all the others up and I’m not unpacking everything. Also need to get the SIM card out of my iPhone to put in my old phone. Oh and money. Yeah… almost there…

chapter i.

2010-08-24T22:46:00.000+01:00

Right, so I’ve been writing this story, and I though it’s about time I shared the first chapter with you. I love to write, think of it what you will (and it is long) but here goes:

Tap… tap…

The night was cool; the street was still and silent, bar the faint humming of a street lamp, barely audible and glowing amber under the dark, cloudy sky. Occasionally, a stray cat would, appear out of nowhere, stretch itself out on the pavement and, and with a faint patter and feet, whisk itself off into the blackness. An owl perched carefully on a wooden fence, cocked its head, large eyes scouring the length of the street like security cameras. It spread its wings and took flight, soaring over the road and landing on the roof of a warehouse. Perfectly square, the dark steel building had long been abandoned, an empty shell that often played host to the meeting of criminal gangs.

Tap… tap…

The moon was full, perfectly circular and just visible between swirling grey clouds. A pale but bright light emanated from it, bathing the owl in silver and showing its dark chocolate feathers. It walked in a clumsy fashion, almost waddling towards an open skylight. Peering down into the warehouse, the owls face was dimly lit with a dull light shining from inside the building. It was looking down upon the interior of the warehouse, a round wooden table situated in the middle of the room, with a lamp illuminating the faces of five men, all dressed in black.

Tap… tap…

The men were deep in discussion, a handgun for each of them laid on the table:
“OK, there are five of us, and we’re going to have to start using our codenames if we want things to run smoothly. So, I am ’A.’ You’re ‘B’, then ‘C’, then ’D’ and then finally ‘E.’ We’re a criminal gang, and I want us to do more than just raid banks. I’m thinking we could name ourselves the ‘Alphabet Men.’ Pretty cool huh?”
“This isn’t going to work,” said E, his face bearing a perfectly natural, straight expression. “Without meaning to cause offence, certain members of this group aren’t the brightest of sparks and I can see this system causing mass confusion.”
“I’m going to agree with Mi-,”
“USE YOUR CODENAME!”

“Fine then! I’m going to agree with E, this is stupid and is only going to confuse us even more. I mean, we haven’t even planned how we’re going to tactically and skilfully execute the raid and take away a decent share of the money. On top of having to call each other stupid names or whatever, this is a one way trip to disaster.”
“So… which letter am I again?”
Two of the five men, sighed, bringing their hands to their face; the two other men were looking at each other puzzled, repeatedly asking which letter has been assigned to them. The final man, A, was stood up, his fists clenched and his face contorted with anger, slowly turning a glowing red; suddenly though, his expressions went completely blank. “Everyone shut up!” he said, grabbing one of the guns on the table and cocking it. The other men followed suit, each of them grabbing a handgun and priming it, slowly backing away from and turning round. “What are we listening for?” one of them men said, but A just put his fingers to his lips and began to creep around the warehouse, gun raised. “It’s probably just a bird, an owl or something,” said E, his face remaining perfectly calm. “Look, let’s get back to discussing how we’re going to break into this god damn bank!”
“No!” said A, his voice a whisper. “Listen! Can you hear that tapping?” There was a faint tapping coming from the outside of the warehouse and it was slowly growing louder. All five men stood still, listening; although there was no visible change in E’s face, his whole demeanour changed, and he raised his gun. “Yes, I hear it. Everyone get ready, we can’t take any chances. I don’t care what it is, it sounds like it’s moving closer to the door and we need to be prepared to kill it if it poses a threat.” A turned to him, a surprised look on his face. “Oh OK Mr. ‘leader’, who died and said you could give orders? I am structuring this operation and I don’t need to follow commands from-” E turned to him, snarling. “Jake, or A, or whatever the hell it is you want to be called, I don’t give a damn what you think, the fact is something is coming towards us and it doesn’t sound like some stray animal.” He may have designated himself the leader, but A knew not to argue and, along with the other four men, he raised his gun towards the entrance of the warehouse. The tapping continued, until it appeared to be coming right outside the doorway. It then stopped for a few seconds, causing the five men to look at each other in confusion. In an instant, the warehouse door crashed open – “FIRE!” shouted E, prompting the five men to empty a clip into the entrance. After each of them had relinquished their bullets they lowered their weapons, fumbling around in their pockets for ammo. “What the hell is that?” said A, looking towards the entrance.
Stood there was a man wearing a trilby and a trench coat, holding what looked like a shield. It had small dints in it, made by the gunfire. “Who do you think you are, some kind of Roman soldier?!” shouted A, reaching into his pocket for another ammo clip. The man remained motionless whilst the men reloaded, taking aim at him again. In a swift movement, the shield he was holding seemed to become smaller, only for the men to realise that it was in fact an umbrella that had been reinforced with some kind of metal, rendering it bullet proof. The trilby man took a step forward into the warehouse, holding his umbrella down; in one motion all five men raised their guns. “I’m warning you,” started E, “get out now or we will shoot. Leave and we’ll forget you stumbled in on our little meeting.” The man stood still, holding his umbrella firmly. Raising it slightly, he brought it down twice.

Tap… tap…

The warehouse was filled with bright lights, as several small explosions went off, throwing the Alphabet Men off balance. The flash bangs blinded them, causing them to drop their weapons. In an instant, the figure at the doorway reacted, running towards one of the men and bringing his umbrella down on his head. With a thud, the man fell to the ground unconscious. Scanning the area quickly, the umbrella man ran swiftly to two of the other men; with several quick movements, he knocked them both to the ground. All that was left was A and E to deal with. With the effect of the flash bangs now wearing off, A’s visibility was improved. Seeing the man running towards him, he steadied himself, and aimed a punch towards his head. Blocking the jab, the man pressed a button on his umbrella, opening it for a spilt second, throwing A against the wall. With another sharp swipe, A was thrown to the ground, unconscious like the others. Realising there was no chance in taking this stranger down, E ran towards the open warehouse door, desperate to escape the wrath of the man’s steely umbrella. Noticing this, the umbrella man took some sort of device out of a pocket in his trouser, and clicked a button. A hundred or so micro explosions went off on the door, blowing it off its hinges and throwing E back towards the man. With one fell swoop, he ran towards E, his umbrella connecting firmly with his head. With all five of the Alphabet Men defeated, the man took a mobile phone out of his coat pocket, dialled a number and pressed it to his ear.
“I’m done here, you can send in the recovery team.”
Putting the ‘phone back in his pocket, he adjusted his hat, surprised that it had actually stayed on his head for the duration of the brawl, and walked out of the building, his umbrella making a tapping sound in synchronisation with his stride. Above the warehouse, the owl hooted, almost in satisfaction at what it had just seen, spread its wings, and took flight, swooping into the night.

***

Walking through the streets at night was something Jason Miller was accustomed to; keeping an umbrella with him at all times was a normality – after all, no-one knew when it might rain? Twirling his umbrella as he went, and occasionally letting it tap on the ground, he headed home. ‘Home’ to Jason was not a semi-detached house, with a porch and garden, or even a bungalow with a front yard – Jason’s ‘home’ was an establishment; a company – for him, his home was his workplace. Somewhere above him, an owl flew by, hooting into the night. Jason glanced up, just in time to catch the winged shaped shooting through the sky. He liked the night time – it meant there were less people about, meaning Jason could clear his head and think straight. ‘Living with insomnia isn’t always bad I suppose,’ he thought to himself, ‘especially with my paranoia.’ Being an insomniac was only the beginning – Jason suffered from paranoid personality disorder, a mental instability that made him extremely suspicious and generally mistrusting of other people. This condition also made him emotionally isolated from others – there were very few people that he was friends with, or he could even talk to. The phone in Jason’s pocket started vibrating (he never normally had it set to ringtone, for fear that would attract him attention) and bringing it up to his ear and answering, he realised it was only the Recovery team.
“Right, we’ve cleared those four guys up, would you like a lift back home?”
“Four guys?” started Jason, his face turning into a frown, “there were definitely five of them.”
“Oh,” said the man on the other end “well don’t worry; the remaining guy won’t have got far. You dealt with them pretty good; they were all out cold by the time we got there. Although the way Marge praises you all the time, we wouldn’t expect any different from a guy like you.”
Jason paused for a second, keeping silent. “Are you sure you only found four when you arrived at the warehouse?”
“Yes,” said the man, “we’ve recovered four and loaded them into the van. We’re heading to the prison now to drop them off. Now, I’ll ask you again, would you like a lift home?”
He remained silent, listening to the Recovery man breathing down the other end of the telephone. “Jason, look, Marge has asked us to pick you up. You know what the streets are like at night – she has our trust, we’re not going to do anything to you, we’re simply going to make your journey back to CRH quicker.”
For a second, Jason remained silent before saying “OK, thank you,” and hanging up.

It wasn’t long before he could hear the sound of sirens growing louder, coming from behind him. Automatically, he clutched his umbrella firmly as a security measure, even though he knew it was likely the noise was just coming from the Recovery team’s van. Sure enough, a police van pulled up next to him, with the passenger winding down the window. “Hop in,” he said, “we’ll drop you off on our way to the prison. We’ll get these guys processed and then head straight back.”
“Thank you,” said Jason, opening the side door on the van, and sitting on a small fold out seat. He didn’t know the two men that had been sent out to collect the criminals, nor did he have any desire to get to know them. Social interaction and relationships were not Jason’s forte, so he sat quietly behind them, waiting to be dropped off. Both men knew about Jason, and didn’t attempt to start a conversation with him for the duration of the journey.
Jason glanced around the van, looking from driver to passenger, and then to the caged back compartment, where the unconscious bodies of the four men lay in a heap. The vehicles that were sent out to recover the bodies of criminals were always police vans or ambulances – they attracted less attention than having a company branded private van, even if they did use sirens in the middle of the night. After a short journey into the city, Jason was dropped off at two large iron gates, flanked by burly security guards. For a complex that called itself a hostel, Jason had often thought that having security guards stand outside the gates was often an odd idea. It just made the people on the inside (i.e. Jason and his co-workers) seem more dangerous than the public actually thought they were. In reality though, there was a warped logic to this, as the ‘patients’ or ‘residents’ were often as dangerous if not more so than the outside world thought. Without question both guards let him in; Jason was known to just about everyone in the hostel, and questioning whether or not he was allowed to enter would only worsen his mental condition.

Cartwright Relief Hostel (or CRH) was situated on the outskirts of Fairbank city. To the public, it was a place where people went to recover from something – receiving help from psychiatrists to overcome various obstacles e.g. death of partner or relative, anxiety or stress that has caused a problem in day to day life. If one were to look into it though, almost no members of the public were actually admitted to CRH; ‘ordinary’ people weren’t useful – it was the very special cases that the place was interested in. Those ‘ordinary’ people that did make it into CRH were never allowed to return to their normal lives in the city. Not everyone who resided in CRH had some sort of psychological condition though – some of them were ‘normal’ and normally ex-policemen who had been transferred to CRH to help hunt down the scum of the city. Every member of the establishment had to be single though; no families were allowed to live in Cartwright.
CRH was situated in a large square block consisting of four building; two of them living quarters, one of them a leisure area with the final building housing the main office and intelligence area and medical bay. A tall steel wall surrounded the whole complex, giving the place an enclosed, prison like feel. Jason walked up to the main office door, opened it and headed to the main desk, where a lady with glasses sat typing at a computer. She looked up at him as he entered, smiling as he came towards her. “Hi Jason,” she said, finishing what she was doing on the computer, “are you wanting to see Marge?”
“Yes please,” replied Jason, returning her smile as he spoke. Carol was one of the few people Jason could talk to properly. He himself didn’t know why this was; maybe it was because ever since he had known her, she had treated him as an equal, rather than a superior or subordinate. “Are you sure it’s OK for me to see her? I mean, it’s quarter to two in the morning,” said Jason, glancing at the large clock face above Caroline’s head. Carol laughed slightly, causing Jason to frown. “Jason, you of all people should know that Marge is willing to see anyone at anytime and, like you, rarely sleeps,” said Carol with a grin. “Look, take the lift up there and I’ll ring and tell her you’re on your way.”
“Thanks,” said Jason, walking over to the elevator and pressing the button.
Marge lived at the top of the main building; she was rarely seen anywhere else, only occasionally in the intelligence offices to check that everything was running smoothly. Arriving at the top floor, Jason walked out of the lift, continuing down a long corridor to a set of double doors. The lack of security guards outside Marge’s office made Jason smile; she may be old, but he knew she could fend for herself and knew how to handle a number of firearms. He stood for a moment at the entrance, knocking twice; there was a slight pause, until a stern voice said “come in.”
Marge’s office was a perfectly square room, the walls a plain white, decorated with replicas of every single work of Van Gogh. At the back of the room was an open fireplace, crackling away and just illuminating the large painting of ‘Starry Night’ that was hung above the back wall. An empty stone mantle piece jutted out just above it, very smooth and perfectly rectangular. The oak desk Marge was sat at was just in front of the fire; on it lay a pot of pens and pencils, with Marge quietly scribbling away at a piece of paper. She was sat in a large patterned chair, her elegant black dress billowing around her, giving the impression that she was sat in a dark cloud. As always, her grey silvery hair was tightly tied up into a bun, giving her a very elegant appearance. Smiling as she saw Jason walk in, her pale, wrinkly face seemed almost smooth in the silver moonlight that flooded through the open (and only) window in the room. It seemed off that the oranges and reds generated from the fireplace did not dwarf the light generated from the moon; it was an odd contrast in colour, and made Jason feel very slightly uneasy. Without greeting him, she started on the subject at hand: “I trust you finished the job?”
“As always,” replied Jason, returning her smile and resting his hands on his umbrella. “There is one thing bothering me though. There were definitely five people, and Recovery only brought back four.” Marge frowned slightly, adjusting the mess of papers on her desk into a neat pile. “Did you tell them this? What did they say?”
“They just brushed it off, saying he won’t have got far and he doesn’t pose a real threat now anyway.” Marge looked at Jason for what felt like a long time, her eyes meeting his striking blue eyes the scanning down his face, over his pink lips and stubbly, square jaw; he felt like he was being x-rayed, her stare examining every part of him, both physically and mentally. After a few seconds, Marge’s expression relaxed. “Well, that is slightly concerning, but as Recovery say, he won’t have got far and I’m sure he doesn’t pose any major threat. Now all I have to do if fill out the necessary papers and file them to the right people. You may leave now if you like; as you know, normally I’d have no qualms with have a cup of tea with you, or a chat, but tonight I apologise Jason. I’ve got far too many things to look into. The people downstairs in Intelligence think that something big is going to happen; an event that will require us to use all the Agents we have at our disposal.” ‘Agents’ was the term used to describe people who were sent out to find criminals; Jason had never liked it, it made him feel like he was far more powerful than he actually was.

Looking back down at her papers and continuing for a few seconds, Marge realised that Jason hadn’t moved. Raising her head, she looked at him, smiling once again. “Can I help you Jason?” she said, putting her pen down and resting her hands on the desk. Jason stood there, a nervous disposition radiating from him; he looked like a naughty school boy about to be scolded by a teacher for some sort of wrongdoing. “Marge, I’ve been meaning to talk to you,” said Jason very quickly, his nerves getting the better of him. “I don’t want to do this anymore, all this ‘taking down criminals’ stuff. I want to quit; I’m happy to live here and just lead a ‘normal’ life as I do everyday, I just don’t want to be running around the streets at night knocking out thugs. My paranoia doesn’t help anyway; it just makes me really nervous.” Jason looked away after saying this, worried about Marge’s reply. Marge simply sat there, taking in what he had just said and, after taking a deep breath, she went on. “Jason, you make such a good Agent because of your paranoia.” Jason looked away from her, deliberately making sure his eyes were staring at anything but Marge’s face. “You don’t think like any of the other Agents, you are really valuable to us. You also have a way of dealing with criminals… you’re not overly violent like some of the others. You’re not overly menacing like most of the people we hire here. In some ways, on the outside you are not suited for this job at all; it’s the element of surprise that really upsets the criminals we send you to find.’ Jason was now looking at the floor, his trademark trilby slanting forward so no-one could see his eyes. He didn’t want to believe it, but he knew Marge was right. He was never one for massaging his own ego, but even he knew that he was one of the best Agents available to Marge. “You’re not an agent that thinks they are ‘badass’ or ‘hardcore’, you do your job because it puts food in your mouth and clothes on your body. Personally, I wish far more Agents were like you.”
“Yes,” started Jason, his nerves coming through his voice “but I’m only like this due to my psychological condition. Therefore, do you wish all of us were mentally unstable? The press would have a field day if they ever truly found out what goes on in this establishment!” Marge heaved a sigh that was so full of despair and anguish that even the most insensitive of humans would detect the pure emotion that emanated from her. “Oh Jason, my dear Jason, you are taking everything I say for too literally. No, I do not wish for every single member of our team to plagued with some sort of psychological horror and no, I’m not trying to say this to upset you or demean you, but you have said yourself that your paranoia troubles you constantly.” Jason suddenly looked up at her, lifting the front edge of his hat so she could clearly see his eyes. They looked tired and bleary, as though he was about to cry. “So,” he started, his mouth twisting into a grimace, “if you know how much it bothers and troubles me, then why are you so intent on doing nothing to help?” Marge looked away, her face turning cold, the kind smile that was once their previously, vanishing. “Because, as I just said, you are a valuable agent, and any help you could receive to treat your ‘condition’ could lessen the quality of your work and therefore lose us the reputation we deserve.” Jason stood here, stunned. Although he expected Marge to say something along those lines, he did not think those final few words would escape her mouth. “The reputation you deserve?! So you care more about the reputation of the company than the quality of my life? Or indeed anyone who works here, because I’m not stupid Marge, I know I’m not the only person with mental instabilities that goes out trying to catch criminals. Do you think it’s amusing? Oh I know, lets ask people who struggle with everyday life to hunt down some dangerous people, what more fun do you want?! I bet there’s a channel out there building a reality television show out of this right as we speak!” Jason was crying now, tears streaming, his face contorted with rage. Marge, although she didn’t show it, was slightly taken aback – she was never aware at how loud Jason could shout, or even that he could get angry. As he continued shouting, she didn’t look him, instead staring directly out of the window looking down upon the grounds, watching the two security guards as they paced the entrance gates in the pale moonlight. Jason finished shouting, his face now red and blotchy – he himself didn’t know how loud he could shout. Marge simply turned to him, and said “I refuse to accept your resignation and expect to see you promptly tomorrow morning where I can brief you on what I wish you to carry out next. Please return to your quarters Jason.”

weather.

2010-08-24T09:07:00.001+01:00

I was awoken at a ridiculous hour this morning by the weather; it seemed as though Mother Nature was having some sort of fit. It's now blue skies though - I hate it when the weather doesn't make sense.

dark grey long sleeve blazer - smart jackets - coats / jackets - men - River Island

2010-08-24T00:10:00.000+01:00

dark grey long sleeve blazer - smart jackets - coats / jackets - men - River Island

I have much want for this.

back from running.

2010-08-23T14:27:00.002+01:00

So yeah, I just got back from running. My vans are soaking now, really probably wasn't the best idea I've had. I'm now going to do some reading. Three of the four books I ordered arrived today (the Amazon delivery man drove right up to my house... quite a feat if you know where I live) and I'm going to start One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest I think. Either that or Catcher in the Rye. I'm going to give Atlas Shrugged a rest though - it's a fantastic book, and it's slowly becoming one of my favourite books, I just feel it will take me a while to read, and I'd like a change of book.

running shoes.

2010-08-23T11:19:00.002+01:00

I've started running again; I used to go regularly, a few months ago. It served as a welcome distraction from exams, and after I finished my exams, I also stopped running. A few days ago, I decided to start again - it's a great form of exercise, I have a route I can easily take and I do enjoy. The problem is that I don't have any decent pair of running shoes and I can't afford to buy new ones. I'm having to use my black vans - they're comfy enough but not really ideal. I just can't bring myself to fork out a load of money for shoes that will naturally get scuffed off due to the nature of their purpose. This is a short blog post as I am about to go and do said activity in the rain. Hopefully it will act as a coolant.

book buying.

2010-08-20T21:26:00.003+01:00

I'm one of those odd teenagers that reads. Well, you may not consider it odd, but bar a few of my friends, none of them seem to read and will sometime laugh at me if I say I'm going to do some reading. I think this maybe to do with the fact that they don't have enough braincells to read properly - or they might just not like reading books. Anyway, regardless, I am currently ordering about a million books from Amazon. And by a million, I mean four.

These books are:

The only one of those I have read is To Kill A Mockingbird, which I studied for GCSE. I loved it, such a brilliant, moving story. I'm looking forward to reading the others though; I was recommended One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest by my Dad, who said the film adaption was very good, as was the book. I've been meaning to read Catcher in the Rye for a while now, if not for the whole abiguity surround the shooting of John Lennon. James Joyce's Ulysses is another that I've been meaning to read.

I'm continuing to write, and generating more interest for my story than before. I'm thinking of posting the first chapter up soon onto here, so keep your eyes peeled.

why I'm finding it hard to get wound up by results day.

2010-08-17T16:09:00.003+01:00

At the time of writing, there is just under two days to go before I receive my A Level results. A vast majority of people I know are becoming incredibly nervous about what they're going to open the envelope to, and are concerned about whether or not they're going to be going to University. Why I don't think this is unreasonable, as it's part of our future, I do think that they should maybe worry less; what's done is done, and nothing can change that (apart from maybe retaking... which would take up another year).

However, I am struggling to worry about my results; a part of me is concerned, but as I'm not going to university next year, I'm finding it hard to care. I'm sure that really, on Wednesday night or on results day itself, I will be bricking it. I may not be venturing forth into the lifestyle of a poor student quite as soon as my peers, but I plan to go to uni after my year out, and if I don't have the grades, it's a no go.

I think I've done well. I hope I've done well. If I haven't, I'm not sure what I'm going to do. I might just travel. Forever. And live of anything I can get my hands on.

hospital 'n' stuff. oh and superman.

2010-08-11T20:20:00.003+01:00

I think I might update this daily come October. See, I'm going into hospital to have an operation on my jaw that will hopefully make me look more 'normal', whatever 'normal' is nowadays. I'm going to look quite different... and quite bruised and battered for the first few weeks; I'm a fast healer, so I'm hoping I'll recover quicker than they expect me to. I'm also hoping I don't almost bleed to death like last time but enough about the possibilities of death, my main focus is to update this everyday so you, my readers (if I actually have any readers) can keep track of me, but also for my sake, so I can look back on the posts and think 'wow, that hurt' or... something.

Changes swiftly onto another topic, I've noticed that a new Superman movie is in development. Now, I'll be honest, I hate Superman; I've always considered him an overpowered namby-pamby man who never learned which way to put his Y-fronts on. But the fact that Christopher Nolan is producing and overlooking this project, like some sort of movie godfather pleases me. I tried watching Superman Returns, the most recent film depicting the Man of Steel - I feel asleep half an hour in. I don't know what did it (and I'm not too sure it was purely the quality of the film) but it was boring, and I'm hoping the next film, whatever the plot or story may be, will heighten my opinion of Superman.

I'll end with saying that Leeds Festival is soon, and I am excite(d).

every two weeks?!

2010-08-10T20:28:00.002+01:00

I think Anamanaguchi are my favourite band at the moment; their songs are just so full of energy and they're releasing a new single every two weeks, for free! That really is rather cool and I cannot wait to get my hands on the soundtrack they've done for the Scott Pilgrim video game. They're latest single 'My Skateboard Will Go On' is a frantic, rocky little number that has a great tune to it. Coupled with album artwork that parodies that of Vampire Weekend's 'Contra', I think you should download it. But only if you like the beepy, chiptune noise of a NES accompanied by loud blast from an electric guitar.

Here's the album artwork for you to gawp at:

xx.

2010-08-10T16:33:00.002+01:00

I would recommend this album to all of you; it's fantastic, and has slowly become one of my favourite albums ever. I may be a bit late with The xx, but I only recently discovered them after I was given this album at a recording studio. Slightly chilling yet incredibly melodic, their debut album which is simply called 'xx' is a fantastic first album for the trio (who were a quartet until their keyboardist left in 2009. Below is the music video for one of my favourite songs off the album, Crystalised - give it a listen, you won't regret it.

no graffiti.

2010-08-09T15:27:00.004+01:00

2010-08-08T23:49:00.000+01:00

Please may some kind person buy me this?

her-happy.

2010-08-06T17:02:00.001+01:00

I am in a good mood for several reasons:

1. I've just passed my driving theory test and now I'm one step closer to being able to drive, which pleases me greatly.

2. I've just bought Dragon Age: Origins, a game that I've heard many good things about.

3. I can relax tonight and watch a movie; I'm not sure what I'm going to watch, but at the moment it's likely to be The Matrix.

the warriors. again. with more of a review in mind.

2010-08-06T09:47:00.003+01:00

You know how in The Lord of the Rings, there's an awful lot of walking? Well take that premise, and speed it up, because in The Warriors, there is an awful lot of running. And I mean a lot of running. Set in a futuristic, dystopia, New York has been flooded by hundreds of gangs that all have their 'turf' over different portions of the city. When an elite leader of all the gangs (who's objective is to cease the conflicts between them and unite them as one super gang... I think) is shot, The Warriors are framed for it, causing every man woman, child and their corresponding gang leader to come after them. The Warriors fight and (literally) run for their lives back to their home turf of Coney Island where, once there, they can recruit more of their gang to help them in the fight.

It seems like The Warrior's just got unlucky - the real culprit seemed to just pick them out of the blue and because of that, everyone believed that they shot Cyrus with no other evidence that one man's word. There's a distinct smell of A Clockwork Orange in this film, as the streets are broken and crumbles and that gangs have a vibrant and interesting dress sense. The Warrior's equate to post-modern Zulus whilst other gangs such as the Baseball Furies seem to look like a sort of undead baseball team (I would have used the name of a baseball team here, to avoid repeating 'baseball' again, but I don't know any).

The dialogue in the film feels clunky and slightly wooden at time, but I'm sure this is due to the fact that the actors are trying to desperately catch their breath due to just having sprinted away from yer another gang. The violence is quite interesting though, with combat leaving nothing to the imagination. There's also this weird romance between Swan, the leader of the Warrior's and this kind of dirty whore type girl that they pick on their journey whilst running through another gangs turf.

Overall, I think I'm creating a rather negative image of the film; it's not bad, it's just a bit weird. Maybe this is another case of why I should have read the book before watching the movie adaption.

Tophatron is not a robot.

2010-08-05T22:33:00.002+01:00

I feel the need to write this blog post, as a good friend of mine has recently started updating his blog a lot more frequently. And it's good. Therefore I think you should pay him a visit and praise his goodness. The address is aitch tee tee pee, forward slas- no wait a minute, I'll start again. The website address is http://tophatron.com and no, a Tophatron is not a form of robot, what I thought about when I read the web address. He's doing a 'BEDA' or something; a blog post everyday. I wouldn't be able to do that, as I lack the sufficient enthusiasm and motivation and I don't think I'm interesting enough to write something everyday, but he is and does so thats good, I guess.

I also think you should watch this video; it's be Yahtzee Croshaw, who does Zero Punctuation for the Escapist. In the video, he's answering questions about his upcoming novel 'Mogworld' which sounds fantastic. Even if you have no interest in Zero Punctuation, or Mogworld, or even Yahtzee, I still think you should watch it.

With regards to my story/novel/prose/whatever we'll call it, I'm still writing chapter two. It seems that I have been writing the second chapter forever, although this may be due to the fact I seem to have less time for writing, what with working almost everyday, so I suppose this is a valid excuse. It's almost finished though, and will end up being longer than chapter one. I also started writing hand written character profiles for everyone, which help me structure everything better.

I'm going to go now and continue watching The Warriors, but watch the video below.

the warriors. again.

2010-08-05T21:37:00.000+01:00

OK, truth be told, I still haven't watched The Warriors all the way through; I got bored halfway and switched it off. Does this have anything to do with it's quality? No, because part of the reason I got bored is due to my brother making moronic comments about their clothes.

But I'll finish watching it tonight, minus annoying brother.

ear stretching.

2010-08-05T11:09:00.000+01:00

I've never understood it. It doesn't look good and it just makes a massive hole in your ear.

2010-08-04T23:16:00.000+01:00

I'm going to watch this soon. I'll tell you whether it's good or not tomorrow.

glitches.

2010-08-04T13:34:00.000+01:00

I don't know what or why I started thinking about this, but as I lay in bed last night, I started to think of the days when I was a young 'un, sat with my brother of the futon, spending an hour on the Sega Megadrive; the days when we both couldn't believe that a blue hedgehog could run that first, and when we were astounded at an earthworm that could shoot lasers and fight crows. The by-gone days of the Sega Genesis and Sega Megadrive, games were a lot harder and a lot less forgiving - if you died, that was the end, it was back to the very start of the game to play it all through again.

However, whether a game is ten years old, five years old, or brand new, every game seems to have some sort of glitch. Some glitches in a game can be used to exploit cheats, making gameplay easier. They can lead to unfair advantages though and nowadays, with just about every video game and it's corresponding game console connected to the internet, developers normally issue a patch that resolves the issue. Normally, bug fixes a rarely major and game breaking; annoyances that just make gameplay one sided and unfair (where multiplayer games are concerned). Where glitches really do hinder a video game is where they make progression impossible. This causes outcry among the gamers and nerds who leave angry messages on forums, demanding that the game be fixed.

I still don't really know why I'm writing this post, but I think it's because I think glitches are great in games like Call of Duty. Exploiting them does make gameplay unfair, but when you're with a friend, and just messing about, it's great fun. I also like it when a glitch enables you to get somewhere you shouldn't, something I always did in The Simpsons: Hit and Run; Homers answer to Grand Theft Auto. Using a cheat code that enabled your vehicle to launch into the hair at an enormous height, you could access Mr. Burn's front lawn. Although you didn't gain anything from doing this, it was kind of cool and slightly rebellious; the game wasn't going to let you get there so you were going to do anything to go against it.

I sometimes wish games these days did have more bug issues, maybe deliberately placed to make things a little more interesting. I don't condone using glitches in multiplayer games... well, I'd only suggest using them if the other team are full of whiny children who should have gone to bed hours ago.

tired.

2010-08-03T22:00:00.000+01:00

Dammit, I need to catch up on some sleep. Hopefully I'll post something half intelligent tomorrow. For now, here's a picture of Joseph Gordon-Levitt.

festivals.

2010-08-02T15:38:00.000+01:00

I spent all day at Kendal Calling yesterday, which is a relatively small festival in the north of England, although it's getting bigger. It was great fun, and I bought a new awesome hat. I'm wearing it now, just to absorb it's awesome-ness (I'm not sure why though, I have no need for a hat indoors). I'll post a picture up here when I can be bothered.

As far as music is concerned, I saw some pretty awesome bands. The highlight of the day was seeing Dananananaykroyd live for the third time, who were as amazing as ever, although I did see The Subways, The King Blues and Badly Drawn boy, who were brilliant. The Lancashire Hotpots were also pretty amusing, and it really got me into the festival feeling; I'm really looking forward to Leeds fest.

2010-07-30T20:26:00.000+01:00

I love this album for it's chaos and nostalgia.

scott pilgrim.

2010-07-30T18:09:00.000+01:00

Scott Pilgrim is awesome. Anyone who disagrees is a liar. He just is.

I've just finished reading all 6 volumes (you could probably read all of them in a day) and they're really great. Like, I haven't read a graphic novel that good since Watchmen. So, this made me more excited for the film adaption, that I was already really interested in. I'm just still nore sure about Michael Cera playing Scott; I'm worried he'll play Michael Cera in another Michael Cera movie playing a character that shouldn't be Michael Cera but is Michael Cera... if that makes sense.

This means I can also crack on reading Atlas Shrugged, which is still good, if not a little heavy. I'm also still writing, chapter 2 coming along nicely and revisions being made as I go along, which is nice, because I'm happier that it seems less shit everytime I open the word file.

One thing I do wish is for things to be a little more exciting at the moment. I can't get anywhere easily, which sucks and although I'd be happy to walk an hour and a half into town, the weather isn't doing anything to improve matters. Just need to pass my driving test, then things will be a lot easier...

trains.

2010-07-28T10:45:00.000+01:00

Trains; they have people that talk loudly about things you don't care about, annoying ticket inspectors, and are no place to try and write a story.

atlas shrugged.

2010-07-26T23:30:00.001+01:00

This book is a beast; I love it, but boy do you need to concentrate whilst you read.

too many cheesy bites.

2010-07-25T23:10:00.000+01:00

I sit here, typing at my desk feeling incredibly bloated. Although Pizza Hut is very nice and they make the most delicious food, I always end up eating so much that, at the end of my meal, I feel like a barrel. Therefore, like the sensible person I am, I decided to eat even more when I got home; I now feel nothing short of a whale.

As expected, Toy Story 3 was just as good the second time round and it's definitely worth a second viewing, just to see all the little Easter eggs Pixar have thrown in to please their hardcore fans. It may have been more emotional this time aswell, and some of those final scenes really do have an effect on you when you've grown up with Woddy and Buzz. I've already asked Amazon to notify me as soon as it becomes available to purchase on Blu Ray... because, y'know, Blu Rays are quite awesome.

I am still writing, and haven't finished the first chapter of my story yet; I hate saying 'novel', it makes what I'm writing seem bigger than it actually is, I also think it makes me sound like a prat and I feel like Brian from Family Guy. It's turning out to be rather long, although at least I know what I'm going to write about, rather than jumping in with no real concrete plot at all. I also need to choose what to read next, as I finished Alice's Adventures in Wonderland today, which is indeed wonderful, but I think I'll leave the Hatter and Hare alone for the moment and move onto to something different.

I'll leave you with an instrumental I listen to when I need to cool down, or need something in the background whilst I do something; a great piece from Celldweller (find part two on YouTube):

newer logo.

2010-07-25T00:25:00.000+01:00

As I promised, this is a newer, cleaner looking logo. I feel it's much improved on the ugly tinkering that occured and was uploaded this morning. The Milliganism now comes with an added blue tinge; I hope you all enjoy this. I now have to go to bed and try to go to sleep - I'm seeing Toy Story 3 again tomorrow, very much looking forward to it, it's that good. I'll leave you tonight with a favourite of mine from Porcupine Tree; I think we should all fear blank planets:

new logo.

2010-07-24T11:23:00.000+01:00

This new logo won't be staying - I don't like it, it's ugly and the yellow is garish. I was tinkering about on Photoshop and rustled this up quickly. It'll be here for today and then replaced tonight. Meanwhile, I will leave you with a cool song from Kid Koala:

hans zimmer.

2010-07-23T21:51:00.000+01:00

He's just a bit good, isn't he? I'm currently listening to the Inception soundtrack and it's fantastic - almost as good as The Dark Knight soundtrack. I'll leave you with this to listen to, it's my favourite track of the soundtrack so far:

wonderland.

2010-07-18T22:14:00.000+01:00

I found a copy of this and it's sequel in HMV for £2.50. I've always wanted to read it so this is my new reading material - I shall be starting it tonight.

novel.

2010-07-18T21:12:00.000+01:00

I say novel, a bit more like 'novel.' Whatever it is, what I'm writing is turning out to be far longer than I expected. This is a good thing though, as the final thing will be more of a novel (note to self, use the word 'novel' less often).

kick ass.

2010-07-18T15:11:00.000+01:00

I just finished reading the graphic novel and I have to say, it's quite different to the film. I wouldn't say it's definitely superior, and in some cases I almost prefer the film but I think this would be different if I'd read the book first. An enjoyable and ultra violent read regardless, recommended.

2010-07-15T18:47:00.000+01:00

There is a man sitting in a room. The room is well lit, and is more than a little ‘high tech’ for a place in the Middle East. In front of the man is a panel full of buttons and above that, a number of screens. The man ponders for a while, his right index finger hovering over a big button, lit by a red light. Examining the screens for a while, he thinks about whether he should press it or not. This is just time wasting though, because he knows that eventually, he will press it. After a few minutes, the light smoothly changes from red to green. The man now knows that they’re ready; it’s just up to him. After a couple more seconds of thought, the man’s finger abruptly shoots down like a rocket and presses the button; it turns red again.

In sixty minutes time, the White House will be hit by a nuclear missile.

Thirty-six hours later

The date is the twenty seventh of July, 2012. This day should be remembered as the beginning of the summer Olympics in London. Instead, it will be remembered as the day millions died in America. The USA has become the capital Wasteland, with death being the most predominant smell lingering throughout the plain. Already though, there are many radioactively protected search teams scouring through the metal wrecks in the hope that somewhere, they’ll find an animate organic being…

There is a man searching through the rubble. Clothed in an ‘all-in-one’ that can withstand incredibly high amounts of radiation and equipped with a motorcycle-esque helmet he wonders through a sea of metal, decay and death. Due to his own curiosity, he has lost his way and been separated from his team. The sky is full of dark, black rain clouds, yet no water falls from them; it seems that not even the planet has the power to cry for the damage that has been dealt. The man looks across at the horizon, his vision obscured by twisted grey shapes. He cannot comprehend the amount of destruction a simple press of a button can cause. He sits down on the remains of a skyscraper. What was once a pinnacle of might and power now lays a bent over wreck, its iron wrought foundations spread out, like massive limbs. ‘It’s funny to think that two days ago this was right up there’, he says, to no-one in particular, patting the structure, then pointing up into the sky. Getting back up to continue his hopeless search, he walks on hopefully, pausing at regular intervals in an attempt to digest his surroundings. Through his visor, all he can see is carnage; the worst thing about all of this though is the bodies. As they had not reached the point in which the bomb had gone off, the explosive force that had come to greet them wasn’t strong enough to disintegrate objects. Laid before him are hundreds upon hundreds of corpses, young and old, with blank, staring expressions; the stench of death could not be more prominent. Blood stained iron and brick continues to surround the man, as he progresses forward, looking and listening carefully in desperation. With every little flicker of movement, he would upturn any scrap metal in his way, only to find that he had imagined it. In one last distressed attempt to find something, he lunges forward, pulling away heaps of metal, hoping that under it they’ll be some sort of life. Really, he knows that there is nothing, and as his thoughts are proven, his energy and panache deplete. He stops and slumps down, suddenly bursting into tears.

There is a man crying, in the middle of a scrap heap. His cries travel throughout the land, emitting from the speaking in his helmet and echoing from the mounds of iron and steel; yet no-one can hear him. ‘Why?! WHY?!’ he screams, asking the question that, at present, no-one can answer. ‘My faith in humanity has been purged! I didn’t think anyone could do something like this!’ His naivety sends more tears down his face, steaming up his visor. ‘I have no faith ANYMORE! None! Not in life! Not in humanity!’ His rather manic statements seem to have come out of no-where. Said to no-one; understood by no-one. He’s lost the plot; come to the edge – his sanity sleeping away into a deep black void. His weeping proceeds as he cannot stand being alone. His hands move up to the back of his helmet, gripping the clips that are keeping it fastened to the rest of his suit; keeping him alive. Although he hasn’t exclaimed this out loud, it is obvious that this is a suicide attempt. Just as he un-does the clips, his ears are filled with a quiet, yet piecing sound. He stops, re-fastening his helmet and tries to track down the source of the noise. Locating it, it leads him to a big pile of metal and, just to be sure that this is correct, he presses his head firmly against the heap; what can be heard is a chirping, bird-like noise. With quick, rapid movements, he removes the chunks of metal as fast as he can, only to find that what he was picking up wasn’t metal; it was lead. Heavier than he expected, he lifts the great piece with all his might, until he came across something that fills him with a number of emotions; surprise, disbelief, joy. Under the lead pile is a small, white bird. He takes it carefully in his hands, holding it up to his visor, examining it. Too weak to fly away, it continues to chirp. The man stares in awe at the miracle he has just found, still taking in his discovery. Behind him, about a hundred metres away, his search team are running in his direction…

There is a man, stood with his search team, with a white bird in his hands. As if on cue, the sun breaks through the dark clouds in the sky, shining down upon the wasteland. Through his visor, one would see that there is a tearful smile spreading along the man’s face. ‘I think my faith is being restored,’ he whispers to the bird. Taking the lead and with animal in hand, they continue looking for any remaining survivors, the bird a beacon of hope that drive the team onward in their search.

cats.

2010-07-15T15:12:00.000+01:00

Cats are so badass. I do sometimes wish I was a cat, they can do whatever the hell they want.

2010-07-14T10:30:00.000+01:00

Mmm, I would like to marry her.

2010-07-13T23:13:00.000+01:00

And now this is my new reading material.

script breakdown.

2010-07-13T23:12:00.000+01:00

Wow, it's tiring, especially when you know you should have started earlier than you actually did.

music.

2010-07-13T17:56:00.000+01:00

I found a list of music I like on a now unused and ancient MySpace account. So I thought I'd update it and put it here. It will probably be updated again and reposted at some point:

Amy Winehouse
Arctic Monkeys
Avril Lavigne
Basement Jaxx
Benga
Black Eyed Peas
Blink 182
Britney Spears
Busted
Celldweller
Chemical Brothers
City and Colour
Coldplay
Concord Dawn
Crystal Castles
Daft Punk
Deadmau5
Dizzee Rascal
Does It Offend You, Yeah?
Eagles
Elliot Minor
Eminem
Evanescence
Evol Intent
Feeder
Fight Like Apes
Florence and the Machine
Foals
Franz Ferdinand
Friendly Fires
Gorillaz
Green Day
Hadouken!
Imogen Heap
Innerpartysystem
Jamie T
Justin Timberlake
Kanye West
Kele
Killers
King Blues
Klaxons
Lady GaGa
Laura Marling
Let’s Buy Happiness
Linkin Park
Los Campesinos!
Magnetic Man
Maxïmo Park
Michael Jackson
Mumford and Sons
Muse
Nero
Owl City
Pendulum
Phantom Planet
Pigeon Detectives
Porcupine Tree
The Prodigy
Rihanna
Rise Against
The Rumble Strips
Scouting for Girls
Sean Kingston
Skream
Snow Patrol
Stevie Wonder
System of a Down
Sum 41
Timbaland
The Ting Tings
The Wombats
Vampire Weekend
The xx
Zebrahead
3OH!3

2010-07-13T16:30:00.001+01:00

Everyone should read this fantastic story.

2010-07-13T14:41:00.001+01:00

Days when you don't have to do anything productive are just the best.

2010-07-12T22:59:00.000+01:00

Letters.

2010-07-12T10:52:00.001+01:00

Not enough people send letters nowadays.

2010-07-12T00:54:00.000+01:00

Whether the storm's already brewing,
Or the eye is just starting to form,
The end is just about to begin.

2010-07-11T23:49:00.000+01:00

read more,
write more,
draw more.

That's the plan.

2010-07-11T20:29:00.001+01:00

just stay where you are
let your fear subside
just stay where you are
if there's nothing to hide

2010-07-11T16:56:00.000+01:00

2010-07-11T16:14:00.001+01:00

After all, I can only be me.

2010-07-11T16:11:00.001+01:00

Let's start afresh, and forget about certain things.